The Goddamn breakthrough

After years of indirect and quite passive searching I have finally found a place where I can publish without having to sell my soul completely.
For the beauty in all my intelligence and intellect, I still have my limitations of which I am painfully aware – quite literally.

It is hard to motivate oneself doing something without a clear passage. That comes from my situation. I hate travelling unless I can plan basically every minute of the trip. It never goes as planned, but that false sensation of safety is the reason why my travels often end up even better than planned. It is all about confidence.

Now I can actually see my journey taking shape.
Thank you my friend, you gave me the key I needed.
You know who you are. ^^

So my publishing on my website will decrease drastically for a while in favor of this endeavor. There will be no more stories published for a while.
I will still write content in the music section, since that is more a therapeutic exercise than actual work.

My main blog is mainly for rants and me being angry, which I am quite often, so there might be content there still. But the podcast is down for now, also the movie section. Simply because I have to reallocate my time.

I am getting out of this fucking nazi country, but there is a bit of ground to traverse before that happens, because of the complexity of my situation.
They betrayed me as a citizen, and that will bring food to my table if even only a third of my plans succeed.

That is apparently why I have worked so hard to getting myself hated by certain people – according to my overriding consciousness.
Being subjected to hate is the greatest inducer of the creative spark I know of. Because now I have something that unites my structural integrity of the mind. A common cellular and neural enemy.
Something to launch the literary nukes at.
Someone to linguistically murder.

Finally I might be able to actually earn money on my greater content which I never published online thus far.
And that without compromising the integrity of my creativity.
For once the future looks slightly brighter.

Even though the planet dies all around me.
But how was it that expression went?
Nero fiddled while Rome burned
And in my interpretation, “fiddle” is not to be in lack of care of the surroundings or loitering around, it is the most intelligent action to take when one realizes that any other action is futile.
Why “burn out” when nothing can be done anyway.
Thus enjoying the moment in rejoice is the action of the (truly) intelligent.

But then again, takes a certain mind to see things from more than one perspective.
So if my publishing on this website becomes even slower than usual, it is because I am busy fiddling in tune to the great Apocalypse.
Because she is fucking mad right now alright.

We, who not deny the animal of our nature
We, who yearn to preserve our liberation
We, who face darkness in our hearts with a solemn fire
We, who aspire to the truth and pursue its strength

Are we not the undisputed prodigy of warfare
Fearing all the mediocrity that they possess
Should we not hunt the bastards down with our might
Reinforce and claim the throne that is rightfully ours
Consider the Gods we could be without the grace
Once and for all
Diminish the sub principle and leave its toxic trace
Once and for all

For once I can relate completely to those lyrics.
Linguistic proficiency is a weapon in the practice of informational warfare.
Textual. Nukes. Will. Be. Launched.

When the remedy kicks in

Makes me genuinely happy to see that at least some genuine ingenuity is still around on this Godforsaken rock bereft of geniuses.
And Maynard’s masculinity makes my multidimensional ovaries go all wet.
And the voice of Carina can make love to me all Armageddon if it wants to.
What’ya mean “inappropriate”?
It’s the end of the world, might as well?
Lul.

If this is what happens when the people of Puscifer gets quarantined, then this Corona thing can just take its time…

So do I

Like in 2013 when I heard Lofticries.
Instant classic. Straight to the heart.

It is an inexplainable feeling, the lack of fear and the acquisition of acceptance.

And thank you for this performance.
Not often I am moved that much by music.

Sometimes I do

But don’t we all..?

At least I used to. Until my ego died.
It really did. Not in the hippie woke sense of it.
But in the ‘yeah you know what I am talking about’ sense.

Thanks Youtube. Every once in a while you give me something great actually worth paying attention to.

Since someone asked me..

..why I release content so slowly.

Blame the Swedish system. It is them who has cut my funding.
I have extremely little passion to share my content without funding.
Since I struggle to survive financially, I have to put my attention to other things.
They claim I am fit for work despite over ten doctors having testified that I am not fit for work, and that I will probably never be.

I have real trouble finding something that I can actually work with. Because even if I spend most of my time by the computer, I am still in pain and struggle a lot with focus and concentration. I am not legally allowed to treat my pain in Sweden the way I see fit, and the health care refuses to provide me with treatment against the pain.
They actually subject me to torture. What the Swedish system does qualifies as a crime against human rights. But then again, the country is run by Nazis, so what can one expect..?
And people really needs to learn the difference between Nazism, Fascism and Communism, they are all totalitarian systems, but in different practice. As well as totalitarianism and racism, especially in Sweden. Which claims to be one of the most well educated countries on the planet.

So please, do not be disappointed with me. Be disappointed with the Nazis that run the Swedish system and now because of their agenda wants the people they consider “undesirables” dead by means of exclusion from the law.

If I did not have as much pain, then I would have a much easier time in my creative process. And if I had the funding I am according to the laws of the country entitled to (because people pay mind boggling amounts of taxes in this country for that very purpose) I would not be so worried about what to do all the time.
I myself am not disappointed with the Swedish people who actually pays the taxes, on the contrary, I am very grateful towards them. But they are being robbed by the fucktards in the Government. Because the taxes they pay, does not end up where they should. Not only in my case, but in so many cases.

I really would love to have a work myself, because I really hate spending time at my computer. If I could, I would “fuck this shit” and become a farmer or something, whatever only I never got to see a fucking computer screen ever again.
But I simply cannot because of my situation.
Because despite what the inbreds employed at the social security agency thinks and believes when they without education reject the recommendations of actual doctors, I am in extreme amounts of pain, and suffer on a daily basis.

So please, do not be angry with me or disappointed on me.
Blame the Swedish system. Because it is those who are corrupt.
It is those who are responsible for the situation I am in from the very beginning as well because of their fucked up experiments on the Swedish people.

I long for the day this fucked up country collapses, because I hate corruption with my entire mind.

And before you call me left-wing or right-wing, I am neither. Because I do not take side. I am no ‘one-winged angel’, I have both my wings, and I am balanced.
I just hate corruption and retardation, thus I am in the current times destined to hate the Swedish system. Because it is as corrupt and retarded as it could possibly get.

I mean, the fucked up retards running this shitshow actually wants to achieve ‘herd immunity’ regardless of the amount of lives it would cost to get there.
Hitler would be proud.