It is hard. It is supposed to be. But another hint then.

It was the entire Reason why we did the homework.
Making the Process of assimilation much quicker.
Christalization – turning one thing into another.
The search is for the Stone of Reasoning.
Turning that of the ordinary into Gold.
And granting one prolonged Vitality.
Not in the conventional sense:

Are you really sure you want the answer?

To my gathered knowledge and experience there are only five things that will make you look younger than you currently are without side effects or backlashes.

Three of those things are currently in this glass. They are quite easy to figure out what they are – one should be blatantly obvious. The other two can be realized by means of deduction and a library. The chemical reaction is very important.

The fourth thing is a consumable, but of a completely different nature. It could be tricky to figure out as it requires a high level of intellect in order to be properly deduced – its efficiency can be enhanced with the help of very advanced external equipment for processing. But even the ancient Egyptians could synthesize it.

The fifth could be perceived as a consumable if one resonates properly. But that one is the sought after secret.
The thing so few discover.
No wonder why they save it for last in many secret societies.
It must be properly understood in order to be prepared, as it could be corrupt or tainted so easily. The ‘distillation process’ is very precious.

Neither of them are a body fluid (exclusively) nor drug (in the conventional sense).

The Goddamn breakthrough

After years of indirect and quite passive searching I have finally found a place where I can publish without having to sell my soul completely.
For the beauty in all my intelligence and intellect, I still have my limitations of which I am painfully aware – quite literally.

It is hard to motivate oneself doing something without a clear passage. That comes from my situation. I hate travelling unless I can plan basically every minute of the trip. It never goes as planned, but that false sensation of safety is the reason why my travels often end up even better than planned. It is all about confidence.

Now I can actually see my journey taking shape.
Thank you my friend, you gave me the key I needed.
You know who you are. ^^

So my publishing on my website will decrease drastically for a while in favor of this endeavor. There will be no more stories published for a while.
I will still write content in the music section, since that is more a therapeutic exercise than actual work.

My main blog is mainly for rants and me being angry, which I am quite often, so there might be content there still. But the podcast is down for now, also the movie section. Simply because I have to reallocate my time.

I am getting out of this fucking nazi country, but there is a bit of ground to traverse before that happens, because of the complexity of my situation.
They betrayed me as a citizen, and that will bring food to my table if even only a third of my plans succeed.

That is apparently why I have worked so hard to getting myself hated by certain people – according to my overriding consciousness.
Being subjected to hate is the greatest inducer of the creative spark I know of. Because now I have something that unites my structural integrity of the mind. A common cellular and neural enemy.
Something to launch the literary nukes at.
Someone to linguistically murder.

Finally I might be able to actually earn money on my greater content which I never published online thus far.
And that without compromising the integrity of my creativity.
For once the future looks slightly brighter.

Even though the planet dies all around me.
But how was it that expression went?
Nero fiddled while Rome burned
And in my interpretation, “fiddle” is not to be in lack of care of the surroundings or loitering around, it is the most intelligent action to take when one realizes that any other action is futile.
Why “burn out” when nothing can be done anyway.
Thus enjoying the moment in rejoice is the action of the (truly) intelligent.

But then again, takes a certain mind to see things from more than one perspective.
So if my publishing on this website becomes even slower than usual, it is because I am busy fiddling in tune to the great Apocalypse.
Because she is fucking mad right now alright.

We, who not deny the animal of our nature
We, who yearn to preserve our liberation
We, who face darkness in our hearts with a solemn fire
We, who aspire to the truth and pursue its strength

Are we not the undisputed prodigy of warfare
Fearing all the mediocrity that they possess
Should we not hunt the bastards down with our might
Reinforce and claim the throne that is rightfully ours
Consider the Gods we could be without the grace
Once and for all
Diminish the sub principle and leave its toxic trace
Once and for all

For once I can relate completely to those lyrics.
Linguistic proficiency is a weapon in the practice of informational warfare.
Textual. Nukes. Will. Be. Launched.

Swedish hypocrisy

They have so much of it that they could probably start to export it.
The latest media fuckery is this kind of famous person who bought sex from a prostitute.
I am not too involved in the case, because I do not care. But that shit got more media response than the elderly people that are being killed off “humanely” by being given morphine at the homes for elderly people.

There has been this outcry about this event in Sweden, and how “unacceptable” and “despicable” it is. (the prostitution thing, not the murder of elderly people…. yeah….) Personally, I believe it is just another case of hypocrisy in the land of dual standards. Sweden is often praised for its “progression”, especially in the sexual revolution. Yet we have not gotten so far as to decriminalize prostitution.
And prostitution should not be confused with trafficking, which are two completely different things.

I always found it hilarious that prostitution is illegal whereas porn production is perfectly fine. What is the difference? One could say the audience, but I would assume, because I do not know, that there are prostitutes willing to serve that kind of kinks as well. And the Swedish pornographic scene flourishes. You can go to any major porn network and find Swedish productions within a minute. If you want to.. check that out for “scientific purposes” for once.

It is also legal to pay money for pornographic productions which will end up paying one or more people for sexual acts, which in the extension could be considered indirect prostitution. So where does one draw the line?
Because this person is fairly famous, one can assume that there is another agenda behind this smearing, as is so common in Sweden. I wonder what he knew, what information he was sitting on, and why it is so important for the fucked up media elite to have him bereft of credibility.
I mean, I would not even be surprised if it turned out that the majority of the employees at Aftonbladet and Expressen bought prostitutes every so often after they were done fucking each other on that work place.

In the meanwhile of all this bullshittery and absolutely pointless nonsense, elderly are being offed at their homes for elderly people. The latest in is that the workforce are now instructed to give doses of morphine to the elderly, in some cases even overdoses.
If that prostitute-deal is what is being used to cover up that shit, then that is a fucking disgrace towards the murdered elderly people.

Imagine being an elderly person, and you get Corona. And instead of getting proper health care, you are given an overdose of morphine. And the media who are supposedly the ones who should report about it are busy reporting about some yesterday famous person who bought sex from a prostitute. It is not even clear if it was in consent or not, or if it was trafficking behind it. Either way, it is equally much a fucking disgrace to the murdered elderly people.
If that is the shit they are being covered up with.

I am genuinely sorry, all you elderly people here in Sweden. I know I am only one person. But you have my heart and you have my thoughts. I am in a troublesome situation myself, but I have genuine care for you despite not being able to do much myself.
I believe it is a fucking disgrace what is happening, and the fact that it is being covered up with such bullshit is beyond fucking shameful.
I am utterly ashamed of this failed country they call Sweden.

And where was the justice when I reported the rape happening during my time in the health care?
In February 2012, a couple of days after the surgery that made me disabled for life I was in the legal meaning raped by the Swedish surgeon Eva Kristina Emilia Borin. What she did to me qualifies as rape according to Swedish law, as I was clearly and strongly rejecting her examination of a very intimate nature. As I had recently undergone a major surgery I still had spinal anesthesia and was more or less unable to move.
Eva Borin was at that time an old unmarried hag (55-56 years old), and most likely saw her opportunity with me being only 22 (almost 23) at the time. She clearly overstepped, as I was protesting as clearly as a human being can.
Because of the nature of the situation, it would according to Swedish law not only qualify as “sexual assault” but also “gross sexual assault”.

It took me several years to process and overcome this. And when I talked about it with some people a while back they urged me to report it to the Police, which I did. I had all the years before the report believed that it would be no idea to report it, as nobody would believe me. Since there were no witnesses during that examination (also a broken health care directive as there should always be a nurse present during such intimate examinations).

The case was dropped immediately by the Swedish law enforcer Roger Nyd with the excuse that the perpetrator operates within the Swedish health care, indirectly stating that it is legal for people working within the Swedish health care to rape their patients without consequences. As if Sweden was not perceived as the “rape capitol” of the planet earth already.

Where are my newspaper headlines?
Where is my legal process?
Where does the hypocrisy of the fucked up Sweden end?

I have overcome this event and processed it, even though I am scarred for life. And it also showed me the nature of how women rapes. They do it when their victim is in a critical health situation in the risk of dying and incapable of moving and defending themselves. Then they are protected by the corrupt law of the Swedish system, claiming it is alright, because it was a health care professional doing the rape.

I can live with that, because I am strong enough.
But what I cannot accept, I simply cannot accept, is that elderly people unable to defend themselves are being murdered with given overdoses of morphine, and the media that supposedly has the ACTUAL PAYED FUCKING WORK to report about it are busy arguing about some passe famous person who bought sex from a prostitute, maybe even in full consent for all we know.

The legal system in Sweden is one of the biggest fucking jokes on this planet.

I am sorry, you elderly people. I really am.
This one is for you. Because you deserve better than what our failures to people working in the system deliver. I am ashamed that the country you built came to be like this. And I am even considered a “failure” by the system.
Maybe I am, but at least I have my integrity and morals left.

When the remedy kicks in

Makes me genuinely happy to see that at least some genuine ingenuity is still around on this Godforsaken rock bereft of geniuses.
And Maynard’s masculinity makes my multidimensional ovaries go all wet.
And the voice of Carina can make love to me all Armageddon if it wants to.
What’ya mean “inappropriate”?
It’s the end of the world, might as well?

If this is what happens when the people of Puscifer gets quarantined, then this Corona thing can just take its time…

So do I

Like in 2013 when I heard Lofticries.
Instant classic. Straight to the heart.

It is an inexplainable feeling, the lack of fear and the acquisition of acceptance.

And thank you for this performance.
Not often I am moved that much by music.

Sometimes I do

But don’t we all..?

At least I used to. Until my ego died.
It really did. Not in the hippie woke sense of it.
But in the ‘yeah you know what I am talking about’ sense.

Thanks Youtube. Every once in a while you give me something great actually worth paying attention to.


In my life I have really only two regrets.
The first being that I trusted the doctors in the Swedish health care. That is the biggest mistake of my life. That I actually believed they were doing good and let them do their Nazi experiments on me.
But with regret and mistakes comes solutions and opportunity. I am going to drop the entire story, with names and identities, what they did and the criminal nature of it in the public domain.

It takes so little to collapse a structure, if you know the weak points you need only remove the keystone and everything comes down. Every structure has a level of integrity, and thus there are weak points – that is the fundamentals of expression. There are only two structures in nature that are fundamentally standing out in strength, and those who cannot figure out which they are, well, they have not achieved a high level of structural integrity in their minds yet.

The second regret is that I joined Mensa. That was just downright stupid on my behalf. Such a fucked up cult. But yet again this mistake comes with insight and wisdom. I realized just how much of a sad bunch such people are, relying to the point of enslavement on their own definition of superiority. A definition which is very brittle, which is why one is prohibited to speak negatively about them as a member. They have realized their own weakness and how little it would take to bring it all down. But that is not genuine structural integrity. That is a form of subtle blackmailing and oppression, and can be used against them. Thus it is not integrity.

I always thought they were in it for actual expressions of intelligence and actual progression of intelligence, not the vague intellectual definition of “intelligence” in order to cater to their desire for exclusivity based on childhood traumas or whatever drives their desires.
They were funny to observe from an observational standpoint of studying demographics, because they too adhere to the same biological programs like any living being. But most of them have no interest in being aware of that or truly overcoming it.
That became apparent when I witnessed the harassment of disabled people and other in their cult-ural doctrine considered ‘undesirables’.

They love to play with the paradigm of “Harry Potter” as they often refer to anyone outside of their cult as “muggles”, which effectively puts them in the situation and role of the “Death eaters” in that allegory if considering the condescending nature I observed among them.

From all of this I truly learned the nature of cult-mentality and how widespread and subtle it can actually be. And how adherent to intellectual doctrines people are without even being aware of it. And faced with it, all they can do is reject it and deny it, because it would cause too much suffering to accept right away.

How was it that saying went “The more a victim invests, the less chance they will turn back. Eventually, when the opponent is challenged or questioned, it means the victims investment and thus his intelligence is questioned, no one can accept that, not even to themselves.
They are still playing the game, and they do not even realize it. They believe to be on top of it, but they are still playing by the rules of the ego controlling them when they buy into the intellectual notion of superiority.
It is hilarious to witness once you see it.

So in a sense, I am very grateful for that mistake to join them, because I would not have reached the insight any other way; ‘The wisdom grows with every failure’. But the burden of knowledge is immense.
Ignorance would have been a greater bliss.
But that is the choice in ascension.
Acceleration upwards requires knowledge whereas descent requires ignorance.

They left a huge mark in my neuroplasiticity, so much so that it causes me a great deal of suffering. Because that is what they are, a bunch of energy parasites. And they cannot even realize it themselves – which is why they love to point at their own reflection in other and label them as such. It is the same with the expression “loser” or “undesirable” or whatever they use. I am not speaking from a position of superiority, because I do not believe in that doctrine like they do, but from a position of observation.

The very fact that I actually believed in that charity scam is just hilarious on my own behalf. But yet again a failure granting understanding and insight.
Damn I was naive back then.

But then again, I was naive enough to join them, believing their intellectual doctrine. Making myself a victim to their intellectual scheme.
Which builds its foundation on a very brittle and vague definition of Intelligence.
But I overcame that. Because I realized.
It would take so little to tear it all down. The slightest and most sudden change in the understanding of human consciousness and its function.

I guess that is why they push so hard the oppression of the development of the human consciousness. Because anyone who evolves realizes just how pointless their membership is.

That is why I left.
I saw the game.
And it was boring.
I turned back from my investments in that idea of superiority based on a skewed intellectual doctrine. I am simply too mindful and conscious to blindly accept it.
They stagnated their own progression towards consciousness in favor for the sense of exclusivism.

Those are my two biggest mistakes in life. But they also granted me the greatest wisdom and insight.
The former the corrupt nature of the ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing’ within the health care. How the predators, rapists and murderers operates under the label of doing good.
The latter in the illusion of made up intellectual superiority based on vague definitions which cannot even be proven.

And I assume they would hate reading it, but then again, truth hurts.
The only way to deal with egos:
– Don’t. Just walk away.